I Feel Love

Just finished Almayer’s Folly, Joseph Conrad’s first novel. Conrad is an author I warmed to late; like most people I had to read Heart of Darkness for about five hundred different subjects at Uni and always found it very tedious. Since then I’ve had to teach it several times and I like it more every time I read it; in fact, I’d consider Conrad one of my favourite writers. I particularly love his slightly foreign-sounding prose (English was his third language), although I’m not a prose fetishist and I disapprove of people liking writers for their “beautiful sentences.” (If one thing has ruined fiction it’s that!)

Conrad at his dullest can still be very hard going, though, and Almayer’s certainly isn’t something I’d recommend as an introduction. Its central protagonist is not only unlikeable (which is par for the course with Conrad) but rather uninteresting; there are endless lengthy descriptions of the Borneo coastline; and countless little confabulations between characters that don’t really seem to have any point. Having said that, it’s fascinating from one point of view, its presentation of race, and particularly Conrad’s insight into the way Westerners appear to non-Western eyes (well, it may be insight, it may be pure invention, but it’s interesting). Conrad has of course been taken to task a lot for the way he dealt with race—Chinua Achebe famously came straight out and called him a racist in an essay on Heart of Darkness—but I’ve always preferred writers who “go there,” who think about contentious things and explore them fictionally even at the risk of upsetting the sensibilities of posterity. A European writer trying to write from a Malay point of view? How wonderful! As long as you take it for what it is it’s incredibly interesting. (Along similar lines, I love reading old books with gay characters, however “unenlightened” the attitudes to them are; a spot of old-fashioned homophobia has always seemed preferable to me to a fictional world where everyone’s presumptively heterosexual.)

Was all set to do a big anniversary post because I thought I remembered 28 December 2002 as the day I started blogging, but then I looked and it turned out to be 27 December, so I’ve missed my big day. (The first entry, in which I declare my love of deep house and tech-house—ah, more innocent days!—is here if you really must.) Anyway, it’s been a lot of fun and the blog has been one of the few things that’s given my life a sense of purpose over the past year (a spurious one perhaps, but you take what you can get). So thanks to everyone who’s been reading, and especially to those who have left comments, sent e-mails, linked to me, or even in the case of a couple of brave souls actually met me. You know who you are; I’d try to thank everyone by name but I’d be sure to forget someone and there would be hand-wringing and mutual recriminations and/or furiously repressed resentments, and no-one wants that.

Meanwhile, sorry about the lack of anything much lately. More planned for the near future, definitely, including the much-vaunted increase in classical music content. I bet you can’t wait, but that’s really not the point: my plan is to lure a better class of reader!

(Just kidding, you do know I love you all dearly, right?)

[Update: oops, it's just past midnight so now I'm two days late.]

***

Thought about doing one of those year-end musical round-ups but there have been so many good ones from other people that it seems rather de trop at this point, so instead, here are my official Top 12 2003 Year-End Musical Round-Ups (if yours isn’t on here, it’s entirely possible I just haven’t seen it yet). Note, I’ve attempted to do permalinks but with most of the Blogger casualties you do have to scroll down:

12: Andy Battaglia’s Top 10 albums, pure class. (Mind you, Jaxx at #1 mystifies but that’s just me.)

11: Part 1 of Mark’s “Madeleines.” Bring on the rest Mark! I’m delighted to find Mark liking the Richard X album, although a bit surprised; surely it’s the embodiment of everything he despises?

10: Baal with a beautiful freeform reflection on the year in sound; I hardly like any of the same music (except Messiaen!) but who cares when he writes like that.

9: Dave Stelfox does singles and albums, short, sweet and on-the money.

8: The wonderful Popjustice gives top honours to Girls Aloud. And people think the NYLPM crowd are hardcore popists!

7: S F/J with his uncanny ability to make a mere list read like a provocative argument.

6: This bloke actually buys his own records. That grime list is particularly impressive/intimidating/chastening!

5: Philip Sherburne with a list that’s perhaps closer to my own tastes than anyone else’s. (Although naturally I wouldn’t include Radiohead!) Has already proved a rich source of download selections; that Chateau Flight track is amazing!

4: Simon’s faves, stimulating as always but no commentary! Sob! Still, Simon’s faves from last year were like scripture to me, I downloaded virtually everything and whole new worlds were opened up, so I expect some revelations are in store.

3: Not a round-up, but Luka’s grime prognosis reminds us what it’s all about.

2: Jon with a cracker of a list, and he’s not afraid to spill a few (delicious, passionate) words about it too. “Beatnik’s eye view” or not, this is pure 100% Jon Dale goodness.

1: Jess Harvell serves up an astonishingly comprehensive and well-annotated list, together with a series of “state of the nation” mini-essays. I may not agree with every word (I’m not quite so bored with mainstream dance music for a start), but Jess feels so authoritative that even when I disagree I generally find myself wondering where I’ve got it wrong.

As for the rest, silverdollarcircle has a good list, but since he recently described Daft Punk as “offensive,” “horrible,” and “the ultimate ‘bloodless hipster band,’” I’m afraid I’ve had to disqualify him from the competition. Sorry mate, that’s the rules. Meanwhile, one anxiously awaits roundups from Ewing, Deyal and (one can only hope) Finney, as well as the completion of It’s All In Your Mind’s promising catalogue.

So, with the season of goodwill out of the way, on to more important things: World Idol! I must say, the theory that the Idol format was designed merely to turn out technically proficient automata, shorn of all personality and individuality, was put rather severely to the test, wasn’t it? I was geniunely surprised at how bad most of the singing was. In fact, about halfway through I found myself longing for some mere technical proficiency, to be honest.

This arrived courtesy of Kelly Clarkson, but she really murder that song didn’t she? Unsurpisingly, I guess, since it’s what she does, and “Natural Woman” is a song with a big bullseye on its chest. Guy Sebastian was fantastic, despite what certain (obviously hard of hearing) people have been saying. I like Will Young a lot but it was a monumentally bad choice of song. All patriotism aside, though, the Norwegian was undoubtedly the best, and if Guy can’t win I hope he does. (Well, him or the Belgian. “It sells, that makes it pop.” Indeed!)

Somehow it merely reinforces one’s lazy prejudices when Northern European countries are unable to field a minimally competent contestant. What really surprised me was how dreary the Canadian was. (Although, admittedly, he did encapsulate everything I associate with Canadian music.) As for the judges, I venture to say that our own Dicko was (of the sane judges) the funniest and the most on-target. The Canadian judge was my least favourite, even though it’s rather refreshing to hear an established worldwide superstar being told to her face that she’s “not all that.” It should happen more often! But he was an arsehole anyway.

The most amusing thing (apart from the hors concours Polish judge) was Simon Cowell’s apparently genuine crisis of belief. Has there ever been such a public display by such a Svengali-like figure of a wish to put the genie back in the bottle?

PS: I will happily vote for your country’s contestant if you promise to vote for Guy.

In lieu of actual content, and in advance of any ranked lists which I may or may not produce at some point, here’s the tracklisting for a “Best of 2003″ MP3 CD I’ve been playing around with. MP3 CDs are fun because you don’t have to be too selective; you can include things that you liked without thinking they were bona fide works of genius. (And thus they might in retrospect look like more accurate and even more interesting reflections of the year than more canon-minded lists, perhaps? Just a thought.) Anyway, no apologies for the very subjective nature of this: the reason there’s so much microhouse isn’t that 2003 was a particularly good year for microhouse (although it wasn’t the bad one some were predicting), but just that it happened to be the year I fell in love with microhouse. Also, the dancehall and grime representations are decidedly tokenistic and predictable, especially grime, which I keep intending to follow more earnestly but never quite get around to. (It’s difficult to anthologise in any case.)

Anyway, here it is. I may offer copies at some future point if there’s a great deal of interest.

1. Black Box Recorder – The School Song

2. Junior Senior – Move Your Feet
3. Sugababes – Hole in the Head
4. Pet Shop Boys – Miracles
5. 50 Cent – In Da Club
6. Timbaland and Magoo feat. Missy Elliott – Cop That Shit
7. Bubba Sparxxx – Comin’ Round
8. Pharrell feat. Jay-Z – Frontin’
9. Chingy – Right Thurr
10. Fatman Scoop & Crooklyn Clan – Be Faithful
11. Missy Elliott – Pass That Dutch
12. Beyoncé feat. Jay-Z – Crazy in Love
13. Justin Timberlake – Señorita
14. Richard X feat. Kelis – Finest Dreams
15. OutKast – Hey Ya!
16. Blu Cantrell feat. Sean Paul – Breathe
17. Kelis – Milkshake
18. Black Eyed Peas – Shut Up
19. Pink – Feel Good Time
20. Blue – Guilty
21. Quarks – I Walk (Superpitcher Schäffel Mix)
22. Wighnomy Bros and Robag Wruhme – Bodyrock
23. Jabberjaw – I Speak For Some of That
24. Brooks and Dani Siciliano – Wandering (Burning Buxx Remix)
25. Luciano and Mathew Jonson – Alpine Rocket
26. Luomo – Talk in Danger
27. Plastikman – Ping Pong
28. Audision – Solid State
29. Akufen – Hawaiian Vodka Party (2e tournée)
30. !!! – Me and Giuliani Down by the Schoolyard (A True Story)
31. Kylie Minogue – Slow
32. Holly Valance – State of Mind
33. Chicks on Speed feat. Peaches – We Don’t Play Guitars (Tiefschwarz Black Box Mix)
34. Felix da Housecat – Cyberwhore
35. Blondie – Good Boys (Giorgio Moroder Extended Mix)
36. Madonna – Hollywood (Jacques Lu Cont’s Thin White Duck Mix)
37. Dannii Minogue – I Begin to Wonder
38. Electric Six – Dance Commander (Benny Benassi Mix)
39. Princess Superstar – Do It Like a Robot
40. Basement Jaxx feat. Siouxsie Sioux – Cish Cash
41. Vybz Kartel – Sweet to the Belly
42. Sean Paul – Get Busy
43. Lumidee – Never Leave You
44. Elephant Man – Fuck U Sign
45. Roll Deep Crew – Roll Deep Regular
46. Dizzee Rascal – Brand New Day
47. Sharkie Major – This Ain’t a Game
48. Goldfrapp – Strict Machine
49. International Pony vs Losoul – International Snootleg
50. T. Raumschiere feat. Miss Kittin – The Game Is Not Over
51. Morane – The Trick (Think On Air)
52. 8 Doogymoto – Tupperware
53. Heiko Voss – I Think About You (Original Mix)
54. Massive Attack – Special Cases (Luomo’s Casing)
55. Matthew Dear – Dog Days
56. M. Mayer – Speaker
57. Lea Klus – Quatro-S
58. Dimbiman – V
59. Robag Wruhme – Beatkutter Kopfnikker
60. Mathew Jonson – Typerope
61. SCSI-9 – All She Wants Is
62. Superpitcher – Fieber
63. Ada – Believer
64. Horror Inc. – The Sentinel
65. Villalobos – Dexter
66. Gabriel Ananda – Wegeschwindel (Quarta iv)
67. Ferenc – Yes Sir I Can Hardcore (Michael Mayer Mix)
68. Junior Boys – Birthday
69. Doctor Rockit – Veselka’s Diner
70. Moloko – Forever More
71. Audio Bullys – The Snow
72. Mu – Let’s Get Sick
73. Freaks – Where Were You When the Lights Went Out
74. Greens Keepers – Dixie Gan
75. Umek – Libido
76. Kraftwerk – Chrono
77. Adam Beyer – Ignition Key (Speedy J. Remix)
78. LFO – Freak
79. Erlend Oye – Sudden Rush (Ewan Pearson Rush Hour Vocal Mix)
80. Seelenluft and the Silvercity Bob Orchestra – Manila (Ewan Pearson Remix)
81. Playgroup – Make It Happen (Ewan Pearson Mix)
82. tATu – Not Gonna Get Us
83. Alan Braxe and Fred Falke – Love Lost
84. The Space Cowboy – Just Put Your Hand in Mine
85. Coloma – Welcome to Arcadia
86. Dani Siciliano – Come As You Are
87. Jan Jelinek avec The Exposures – Music to Interrogate By
88. Four Tet – My Angel Rocks Back and Forth
89. Colleen – Ritournelle
90. David Sylvian – A Fire in the Forest
91. Herbert – Addiction (Perry Farrell Mix)
92. The Matthew Herbert Big Band – Misprints
93. Junior Boys – Last Exit (Fennesz Remix)
94. Barbara Morgenstern – Reset

And after mere minutes I’m compelled to post again! Perhaps the drought is broken. I had to laugh at this post from Tom Ewing, because I had exactly the same epiphany when watching Vengeance on Varos a few months ago. Perhaps it is simply the one good Colin Baker story? And Tom is dead right about the prescience vis-a-vis reality TV; there are even machines in homes that allow people to “vote” for or against execution, although unlike our own SMS voting they maintain the old-fashioned principle of “one person one vote”.

I’d recommend the DVD rather than the video though, because you get a terrific commentary from Colin Baker (who really does understand what the show is about, even if his costumers didn’t, which makes you like him even more) as well as Nicola Bryant (Peri) and the bloke who plays the evil slimy guy. I’m suffering DVD special feature fatigue a bit lately…I even found myself breathing a sigh of relief the other day when I slipped in a rented DVD and discovered no commentaries, no making-of documentaries, not even a photo gallery…but the Doctor Who commentaries are almost always worth a listen.

Just posting in case anyone is worried that I’ve gone into some kind of downward spiral as a result of not getting that job. Well, perhaps I have just a little bit, but mainly I’ve just been working and not feeling particularly inspired to blog about anything. Going through a minor identity crisis about the blog; I think my chart rundowns have run their course…it’s one thing to get flamed by people who’ve googled their favourite band and found your remarks on them unedifying; it’s another thing entirely when you find yourself agreeing that, in fact, your thoughts on Linkin Park (or whoever) are indeed pretty worthless and idiotic.

Don’t worry though, I’ll be back soon with something a bit more substantial, I promise.

Meanwhile, go and see Master and Commander, it’s totally old-fashioned and delightful.

I’ve just heard back about that academic job I applied for. I didn’t get it. Oh well, the silver lining is that I don’t have to move to Adelaide! (Sorry Jon.)

Damn, I was determined to like this new Kylie album in spite of Jon Dale’s and Tom Ewing’s advance vitriol, but by golly they’re right. There are some very good tracks (”Slow” of course, “Still Standing”—although the version of this in the TV concert was much better than the one on the album—and “Red Blooded Woman” are all keepers) but far too many attempts to be worthy and quirky and “interesting.” Bad Kylie! Perhaps she really is a Performing Arts Pop Star after all. (I very much like that notion of Mark’s, by the way, although I think he is completely wrong about camp and will explain why at some future point.)

Thanks in any case to Jon for the copy of Body Language, among other goodies, which were delivered to me IN PERSON last night during the (unfortunately truncated) Official Worlds of Possibility Melbourne Tour. It was lovely to meet Jon in person at long last, and we also managed to get together with cnwb for a drink; unfortunately the elusive Tim Finney was not of our number. (Blame it on Jon, Tim! If I’d had your number I would have texted you…) If only I hadn’t been working such insane hours the last few days and hadn’t had to go home at such a disgustingly early hour; still, I’m glad Jon talked me into that last drink.

[Update: am now listening to the unbelievably brilliant Matthew Dear album, also courtesy of Jon. Life has meaning again.]

Great post from Chris on the ads for those mobile phones with cameras in them. (I used to to criticise my students for oversimplification when they regurgitated sub-Frankfurt school dogma about advertising creating spurious needs where none previously existed, but if anything proves that they were right and I was wrong it’s those phones with cameras!)

It is interesting how voyeurism (or scopophilia, I should really call it) has become part of the Sex and the City approved list of perversions that it’s kind of OK to have in an attenuated form as long as you’re beautiful enough. Forget Rear Window, this time we’ve really become a nation (or a world) of Peeping Toms. The organisation I currently work for even publishes a magazine called Voyeur, which it gives away to unsuspecting passengers on its planes. And you don’t need me to trot out the 1,345,985 trend articles about how porn is now socially acceptable. But at the same time there’s an increased awareness of and anxiety about the prevalence of, and opportunity for, actual voyeuristic activity of the non-consensual kind (and in fact there’s some justification for this anxiety…if you don’t believe me, try Googling the word “voyeur,” or better still just take my word for it). Meanwhile, the mobile phone industry comes up with an invention that instantly makes life a lot easier for voyeurs (the real kind, not the hip kind you see in commercials), and this just brings the topic even more into public discourse (for example gyms, swimming pools and so on have had to bring in rules against mobile phones in changing rooms).

This invention is interesting from a Foucauldian perspective as well, the way in which we’ve all become potential agents as well as subjects of surveillance (of course, we always did, and were always meant to, play both roles, it’s just become more explicit).

I told you I was going to catch up on Top 50 business! You see, I’m just so surprised and excited to see this week’s No 1; either that, or I have a day off work today, you decide. Tons of new tunes to get through this week, a real mixed bag too…

45: P. Diddy, Lenny Kravitz, Pharell Williams & Loon – Show Me Your Soul Do we really need another single from the Bad Boys II soundtrack? Well, yes we do, but it’s Justin’s Timberlake’s “Love Don’t Love Me”, which there don’t appear to be any plans to release. This, meanwhile, is better than that dispiriting list of collaborators might suggest, Neptunes-y guitar-based minimal funk similar to some of the milder tracks on the Clipse album. If you’re wondering what Lenny does, he just squeals a bit, it’s not too bad really.

43: Enrique Iglesias – Addicted First of all, it’s “en-ree-kay”, not “on-ree-kay”! Honestly, Spanish is the easiest language in the world to pronounce; it takes five minutes to learn the rules, well worth your time. I think this marks the moment at which I have finally stopped going “hey, that’s kind of cool” when I hear that “backwards” effect in songs. Partly because it’s used so hamfistedly here (as part of a whole bag of tricks meant to distract you from the basic unpleasantness of Enrique’s voice), partly because it might be time for producers in general to find something new to play with. (Personally, I’d like to hear more sampled birdsong in pop, a la Superpitcher’s remix of “You Don’t Need a Weatherman”.)

34: Missy Elliott – Pass That Dutch Much discussion of the supposed rubbishness of this on ILM. I don’t know, I’m inclined to like it because (1) it’s faster than most hip-hop tracks, and faster=better; (2) it has cool, Diwali-esque handclaps, one of the things that are guaranteed to destroy my critical faculties. Probably not a keeper though, true enough.

24: Fatman Scoop – Be Faithful Oh God, that voice! An awful lot will depend on your tolerance for the fingernails-on-a-blackboard MCing, but if you can tolerate that this is lots of fun, unabashedly funky party hip-hop with a nice Janet Jackson sample (by way of vocal contrast; or is it just a singer who sounds like Janet Jackson?).

23: Red Hot Chili Peppers – Fortune Faded Yikes, this is awful! I’m no fan of the RHCPs at the best of times, but they do have a habit of writing songs that are hooky enough to insinuate themselves annoyingly into your brain. This, on the other hand, just has nothing memorable about it at all, which I suppose is a blessing really. The guitar solo bits are particularly horrid and totally ham-fisted; they sound like a demo by one of those bands fronted by the assistant sales manager that performs once a year at the office Christmas party.

17: The Offspring – Hit That It just gets worse. This is easily the worst single of the year so far. Astonishingly banal melody, achingly bad production (the electro-pop touches are like violets in a sewer), and the most irritating voice in popular music. Just unbearably awful.

2: Black Eyed Peas – Shut Up Another thing that destroys my critical faculties: moody minor-key strings in an uptempo track. This is great, although possibly only the second-best single of the year with the title “Shut Up,” and definitely only the second-best battle of the sexes single (the best being, of course, “I Luv U”).

1: Guy Sebastian – Angels Brought Me here Yes, it is a very naff song, very blandly produced. But, for reasons previously explained, they had to go for something like this for the first Idol single. We’ll wait and see what the next one’s like. (Although the production here doesn’t raise my hopes, I must admit; Australia seems to have a desparate shortage of good pop producers.)

The BEPs and Guy are the only new entries in the Top 10, replacing Pink and Delta (I’m apparently on the death list of every Delta fan in the nation, so can I just specify once again that I’ve changed my mind and I really quite like her now?).